What is the story? What are you telling yourself as you react to something or someone?

What is the story? What are you telling yourself as you react to something or someone?

Too often we don’t realize that there are thoughts associated with what we are experiencing. It happens so quickly or so automatically that we aren’t even aware that there’s a “story” being built or being retold associated with this encounter. But our bodies and emotions know that there’s a story and they can go into overdrive and take us on a ride.

How do you become aware of your story? How do you tap into what’s happening underneath the surface?

Slow down, take a deep breath and get curious about what’s happening. You just have to acknowledge that you’re emotionally hooked and be curious about it. Come from a place of curiosity rather than judgment. Be inquisitive and interested in the question and open to the answers without trying to filter them at this point. Something is going on, get curious or get crazy.

1. You can write down your story, this is the first draft and needs to be uncensored and raw.
2. Read back your story and circle or identify any half truths, assumptions, alternative facts and interpretations.
3. Share your story with someone you trust and value for discussion and feedback. Use this as a fact finding mission.
4. Re-write the story draft with the additional information.

This is a lot of work and developing a new habit is never easy but what’s the alternative? Has an incorrect story caused more work, more hardship or more difficulty in managing a situation? If you’re like me and every client I’ve ever had with an incorrect first draft of their story than the answer is YES.

You can start with more benign stories to get used to questioning and being curious about the origins before you dive deep into more ingrained truths or ideas.